Conversations With My Mom: On Prudishness
Mom: I just heard the neighbors fighting, and the man said “f***” to his wife.
Me: Yeah, he does that all the time.
Mom: And it didn’t just slip out. He said “f***” over and over.
Me: Yeah. Well.
Mom: That’s such a powerful word. “F***”.
Me: Mom, please stop saying it.
Mom: What? “F***”?
Me: Yes. That.
Mom: Why? What’s wrong with it?
Me: It’s just weird to hear my mother saying it, that’s all.
Mom: But I didn’t say f***. I said “f***”….within quotes.
Me: But when you say it, I don’t see the quotes, I just hear the word. [pause] This is getting surreal.
Mom: Okay, I won’t say the word. [pause, then smiling mischievously] I just wanted to make sure your mama didn’t raise no prude.
Me: No, she didn’t.
Mom: I hope she didn’t.
Me: She really didn’t.
Mom: I really hope she didn’t.
Me: No, she really f***ing didn’t.
Mom: GIRISH! How dare you—
Me: MOM! Stop! Can we please go back to being plain old mother and son again? Thank you.