Conversation With Father John
One of my cinephile acquaintances in town is a Jesuit priest, Father John (certainly not his real name). I ran into him on the subway this morning.
Me: So, Father...seen anything good lately?
Fr. John: I should say so. The 40 Year Old Virgin. Have you seen it?
Me: No, I haven't.
Fr. John: Well, you should. Did you read what the New Yorker had to say about it?
Fr. John: They called it...dirty...and funny. And that's exactly what it is...a dirty, funny film.
Me: [clearing my throat] Yeah. [pause] Anything else you've liked?
Fr. John: The Aristocrats. I'm sure you've seen that.
Me: Actually, no.
Fr. John: Really, why?
Me: I'm being a wuss about it. See, I don't know the joke, and everybody's been telling me that it's the most horrible, nauseating joke ever, and that's just scared me off.
Fr. John: [downward wave of the hand] Ehh...it's not so bad.
Fr. John: Yeah, it's just a joke. It's offensive, but it's not that bad.
Fr. John: [pause] You know, I could just tell you the joke now, and then you wouldn't have to worry about it.
[Long pause, while I picture in my head the once-in-a-lifetime experience of hearing the world's most obnoxious joke from a black-clad-and-collared Jesuit priest on a crowded subway]
Me: Nah, that's okay, Father. I think I'll just see the film.
Fr. John: Good for you.